Does he miss me?

I've been in school for about 2 weeks now and I seem to be obsessed with the thought of unhappiness. Even though i have a knot in my stomach and the knowing of that he did wrong, I can't stop to think about him.

I want him to look at me, but he ignores me. So I guess everything would've been easier if we could be friend, but when I meet him in the hallway his face is blank and I'm not visible.

So does he miss me?...probably not.

School of love

School has started which I love! Although my class has a schedule that make you angry! My mentors were talking about how we need to spend our last year with friends...then I find out that we don't have any breaks with the other classes.

Also my friend and his girlfriend Have it pretty rocky in their relationship. While they are on the way to break up I'm trying to make this guy who were mean to me this summer miserable. I'm trying to be as beautiful I can and will only like his photos on instagram if they're good, ONLY. I want him to see what he missed out.

I don't want to be alone...or do I?

When I walk around in the town where I have my summer place I feel so alone. I'm with my mum and a gang with boys and girls walk by me. I miss that! I've felt that feeling twice in my life, I'm not somebody's priority who they want to hang out with.

I want a girl friend who I can call and text with just silly stuff and that will come home to me if I needed her. I want a boyfriend who I can watch movies with and touch his skin and feel that he's mine. Yeah I'm lonely when it comes to summer, I know that it must be my fault, but I've always been me!

Although I like to be single. When I go out most boys are looking at me and I get the feeling I can get one of them. It's a fun feeling, but I'm mostly just scared for getting a boy. I feel I need to mature a lot, but I guess you're never ready for a boy.

Easy to Get Insecure

I'm easy to affect. I get so insecure too fast. I hate it, it's not good for me, that I feel bad because of it. I'm so scared of getting rejected by someone that I need to check my inbox all the time and see if the person is online. Internet has done nothing good to me and it just makes me sick. Hope I will feel better tomorrow and that I won't feel like this.

I'm the kind of person that would do anything for a friend. I always put their needs before mine.

(picture is Pon and Zi made by Jeff Thomas)

:)

I'm In the middle of the night...

Thinking about how I would like to hold someone near me when looking over the surface of the water. How I would love to have someone kissing my lips and saying that I'm the most beautiful person they've ever seen. Wanting me for who I am and like when I say random things and likes that I can act a little crazy sometimes out of excitement.

Gosh!! I really need to stop watching girly movies and happy ending stories. But what would life be without fantasies?

In Love With a Celebrity?

I'm a teenager and a girl. I've listen to two or three Justin Bieber songs and I love one direction's album "up all night". I actually think the guys in 1D and Justin Bieber are good looking. I would love to go to an one direction concert.

The thing is that I'm not obsessed about these singers. I don't even know the name of everyone in 1D. I don't understand how two girls can fight over stuff like: "you spelled his name wrong". That's insane! How some change their life to forever be a believer or a dedicated one direction supporter.

How can you say you love a celebrity and that you want to marry him/her when you don't even know them?

Dream of independence

I had a dream last night about my life in school and love. I can now say that I deserve someone good and also I'm no longer jealous of other girls. I won't judge them before I really know them. Gosh I feel like a terrible person after this dream, it was really a wake up call.

Even if I say I want someone, my first priority is going to be school and then can things happen to me if they want. I wont try anymore.